“Everyone and everything that shows up in our life is a reflection of something that is happening inside of us.” — Alan Cohen
Just as relationships can be your greatest teachers, your life is a mirror reflecting your inner world and can show you hidden parts of yourself.
It offers a great opportunity for growth when we understand that everything in our life (relationships, careers, finances, time, etc) is a reflection of our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. When we are faced with problems, it’s easy to get caught up in the negative and go on a downward spiral. But it’s up to us to see it as an opportunity to go deeper and learn more about ourselves.
We can simply start by looking at what is working and what is not working for us in our life. It can reveal what we should appreciate about ourselves and what we still need to work on.
Let’s start by removing any judgment, blaming, or stories you have built around your life and start looking at it through a lens of curiosity. I promise it can be quite fun and refreshing to step out of the drama and our negative thinking patterns. Curiosity can help us to look at things from a fresh perspective and take back our power.
A good friend of mine told me once, that whenever she is facing challenges and difficult emotions like anger, she stops and says to herself: “Interesting!”. That simple word makes her pause before she gets caught up in the story and creates a space to explore.
Here is an example to give you a better understanding. I was out for dinner with a group of friends. Everyone was having a good time, with lots of chatter and laughter. But I noted something rather “interesting” that night. Several times when I was trying to say something, people either didn’t hear me or I was talked over by someone else. I wondered why no one was listening to me. I wanted to understand and decided to look at this through a lens of curiosity. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” I asked, “What is life trying to show me?”
If I feel like others are not listening to me, maybe I am the one not listening to myself. Maybe I have been too critical of myself and doubted the importance of what I have to say.
This made me realize that we first have to become aware of our own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs before we can change our reality. How could I expect someone to listen to me, if I don’t believe that what I have to say is important in the first place? Life was just matching my own thoughts.
“We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are”― Anaïs Nin
Once we become aware of how life is mirroring back to us, we can’t deny that our thoughts create our reality.
According to cognitive neuroscientists, we are conscious of only about 5 percent of our cognitive activity, so most of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behavior depends on the 95 percent of brain activity that goes beyond our conscious awareness.
In every moment of our life, we have the opportunity to look at parts of ourselves that need healing and embrace all of who we are.
What is this annoying co-worker who is constantly criticizing your work mirroring back to you? Could it be your feelings of not being good enough or your own perfectionism? Maybe this person is reminding you to be more compassionate towards yourself.
What is your unfulfilling job trying to tell you? Are you pursuing a career for the wrong reasons (money, status, job title)? Are you not allowing yourself to live your creativity, because of fear and a false sense of security?
If you are struggling to understand the reflections of your life, working with a coach offers a safe container to look into the mirror and really get to know your authentic self.